Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
