covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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