Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
