Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
