Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
