I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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