Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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