no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
being pregnant is like rehab
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
