At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
