morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Do vagina's smell?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
