I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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