please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
