omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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