He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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