Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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