She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
pray to the hookup gods
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize