I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm always down for nudity.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
