five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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