i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
i think my cat just said my name.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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