Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
