:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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