I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
