Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
