is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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