Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
