Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
