she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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