I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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