just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
