Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
