$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
