the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
