Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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