I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
