I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
