my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize