do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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