oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Randomize
