K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
we have officially lost it.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
