What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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