You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
