Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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