one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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