he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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