Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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