Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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