Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
