I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
