at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
