google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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