Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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