I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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