And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize