their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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