If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
