I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
