the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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