Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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