Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
