She said her name was "party"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
