I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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