names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
