hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
