These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
