I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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