Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
