I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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